As we move through life, we become members of other groups, such as sports, activities, academic, friendship, and spiritual groups. Within each of these experiences, we are offered the opportunity to express and make known varied parts of ourselves. We can play with who we are as we explore aspects of our identities. We can also lose parts of ourselves if we give up or deny what is truly important to us in order to honor or abide by the wishes or beliefs of others.
There is often a balance to be maintained between honoring the needs and integrity of the self while participating in the energy and relationship of the group. The tendency for some is to want to fall in line, be accepted, be part of the whole, and feel a sense of import and belonging through the group affiliation. For others, the urge is to avoid any group alignment and go it alone. These are two ends of the dependence/individuation spectrum. Learning to have a self and honor one’s own Truth while maintaining connection and unity as part of a group is a multifaceted journey that evolves over time. As the True self emerges and yearns for expression, the need to belong shrinks in comparison from when the journey initially began. The desire to uphold one’s own Truth outweighs the need to be silent, placating, or to have a desire to defer to others. The process of personal evolution moves through phases of dependence, independence, to eventually discovering interdependence.
In so many ways in life, there can be perceived, believed, understood, or overt pressures to conform, to fit in. As we are all unique beings with complex circumstances that have brought us to be who we are today, the likelihood that we feel, think, believe, and desire to behave in exactly the same way as a host of others, is unlikely. In order to express the uniqueness of our energy, our Truth and our perspective, we must express our individuality in a way that honors our personal power, holds the energy of our belief system, and allows for individual change. Becoming less dependent and more autonomous requires courage, and often involves spending time and space in a state of independence along the way. Interdependence involves honoring one’s strength, uniqueness and viewpoint while simultaneously allowing others to have this same experience. No one loses. All have the potential to benefit. All are honored.
While navigating a situation in my life that involved changing group dynamics and shifting beliefs and behaviors on behalf of some of the group members, my Soul’s guidance to me was, “Wear your own suit.” As I received this guidance, I could distinctly feel the energy of owning my own presence, my own Truth, while being open and present in the group. The inherent message was to hold onto my personal power and beliefs while still maintaining connection. I understood that it was important for me to honor how I felt and what I believed and to express this as Guided. As a seamstress of many years, my Soul’s guidance was particularly clever in that I understood what the gift and beauty of wearing one’s own suit truly meant. It is a suit meant for no one else, only me. It fits me like a glove and makes me feel good. It is the True Me: empowered, secure, comfortable, and known. It is second to none for I, and only I, can wear my own suit. It was tailored for me, by the loving hands of the Creator.
Honoring one’s Truth means there will be times when a person stands out from the crowd, steps aside, or helps shape the energy of an organization or group in another way. Individual expression that honors the Soul of the self while respecting others is the fabric from which a healthy world emerges. Whether it be made of finely spun silk, merino wool, or cashmere, we each have our own suit; our own True Identity. I invite you to wear yours. As Billy Crystal would say, “You look maaahvelous, absolutely mahvelous!”